Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo (Weekend iPhone diary.)


Just realized it’s 5:30 and I don’t have any plans. I was busy all morning, and Andy’s coming into town tomorrow, so Saturday night slipped through the cracks.
Send SMS to Kim: Hey, what are you up to tonight?
Flip to Safari, read Deadspin.

SMS from Kim pops up: Party at Melissa’s, you’re welcome to come along.
Me: I could go for some partying. What time?
Kim: Starts at 8 but I’m thinking 9. Will forward you the evite.
iPhone dings. Flip to Mail, see invitation. Click on link to open Evite web page. See address: Wow, that’s just a couple of blocks from here.
Flip to Maps and enter address. Plan walking route to party. Touch pushpin on map, click “Create New Contact”. Add Melissa’s name and phone number.

SMS to Kim: Sounds good. I’m going to watch the Sox game and go for a run, can meet you there around ten thirty.

Do pre-run stretches in front of the TV. Open MLB Live Pitch-by-Pitch. The Rangers are bringing in Gagne. Is he any good this year? Check Gagne’s stats. Yep, he’s recovered from his surgery all right. Watch Gagne mow down the Sox, game over.

Run around the neighborhood, let iPhone charge to full.

Walk to party, listen to Illmatic. Text a few people about hanging out with Andy when he arrives.
Arrive at party, socialize, resist urge to take out iPhone and show it off.

iPhone beeps. Pull it out and read message — Debbie’s replying to the text spam from earlier. Guy next to me begins drooling. He wants a demo. But oh no! His ride is leaving. His face looks like someone gave him a puppy and then took it right back.
Back to the party. Radio silence to avoid further temptation.


Leisurely breakfast at Dunkin’ Donuts. Turn on iPhone, check email — Uh oh, Andy emailed last night: he got a morning flight, not an afternoon one. He’ll be at my place at 11:15! Race home on foot, listening to Emergency & I. Find Andy and his luggage waiting on my doorstep.

Brunch at S&S. Susan calls, but we can’t hear each other. Curse crappy AT&T network.

Call Susan back on the drive home, using the headphones. Discuss 4th of July schedule.
Get home, hang out with Andy. Amateur guitar jam. Wish the iPhone recorded video so I’d be able to film Andy as he picks out a solid 3/4 speed rendition of The Boxer.

Call Debbie, put her on speakerphone so she and Andy can coordinate plans.
Try to learn some Bob Dylan songs; listen to Subterranean Homesick Blues on the record player. Look at tabs in my Dylan book; Google around for a tab that shows fingering. No luck. Search YouTube. Watch the video for Subterranean Homesick Blues (Dylan flipping through the posterboards — classic — but no guitar, so it’s no help with fingering.) Watch palindromic Weird Al parody video, crack up.

Google “movies 02143” to get showtimes. Discuss merits of Ratatouille vs. Live Free or Die Hard. Recap plot of Die Hard 3. Decide on 7:35 show of Ratatouille.

In very long line at the Fenway movie theater. One of the two 7:35 shows is sold out. Hmm, I should have ordered tickets in advance. Load up Fandango. Fandango’s “Select a Movie” dropdown crashes Safari. The line is moving, so I give up on Fandango. Andy notices that a guy further up the line is also fidgeting with his iPhone.

Theater management reminds us to silence cell phones. Realize I have no idea how to put the iPhone in any kind of “silent mode”. Check settings, nothing — better just turn it off. [Re-reading the manual later, I learn about the Ring/Silent switch above the volume controls.]

Ratatouille was great. Dinner at Boston Beer Works. I order off the specials: barbecue red snapper “on a watermelon picnic table.” The waitress can’t explain what that means; it’s a new dish and she hasn’t seen it yet. I’m imagining a Japanese-style fruit sculpture, something worth trying the iPhone camera out on.

Snapper arrives without watermelon, or anything resembling a picnic table. Take a picture anyway.

Discuss what percentage of Mel Gibson movies involve his character getting tortured. Run out of movies to consider — check IMDb to get Gibson movieography. Andy and I recap the plots for Lethal Weapons 1 & 4 and parse for torture-scene opportunities, but realize neither of us remember anything about 2 & 3. Speculate for a while, then give up and read the recaps on IMDb. (Answer: 2 is the one with Joe Pesci and the South African money-launderers, 3 is Rene Russo and the corrupt gun-running cops.)

Mom and Dad were thinking about seeing Ratatouille — email Dad to ask if they saw it, and what they thought. Drive home.

Andy calls it a night and retires to the guest room. Check email. Read about potentially fun event on Tuesday; forward it to Andy. Receive “Battery under 20%” warning. Put iPhone back in the charger; hit the sack.

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